I never knew you could go to bed one person and wake up another… This is our story and our journey through grief.
I remember feeling her kick like crazy, I was 4 days away from my due date and could not wait to meet our baby girl. Our third child. Exhausted and with heartburn I fell asleep to her movement. Her baby kicks. The next day our lives changed forever… no movement and by 10:30 I was at the hospital. I will forever have the picture of her still heart on the screen. No one had to tell me… I knew my baby was gone.
If it wasn’t for our Heavenly Father, we could have not survived that day and every day since. We had to believe and know that our baby Lenora James was in a beautiful place in the arms of Jesus. Safe, no pain and to see us one day. Even know there are times that you feel so alone and so out of control. You feel a need to scream about your child so everyone knows them. The healing process after loss is a crazy, painful, never ending journey you find yourself trying to survive.
Burning a candle for Lenora became routine as my husband and I shed tears and survived through this unfortunate painful time. The flickering of the flame calmed us; it illuminated our house with light as a symbol of hope. Nights burning the candles started showing us a way through the darkness.
We are creative people with a heart after our Lord and others. We know it isn’t easy. Lenora means shining light and we felt that we needed to use that to do something great. During this time, we want to lend a helping hand and help turn the pain into candles of hope; turn forgotten distressed wood into something with purpose. We want to be there for others to help shine a light into the darkness of loss.
Our children died but their lives will always keep shining. It is important to know that we are still shining as parents and as siblings to those we have lost. We believe after losing a child your journey to a place of complete healing begins. Sometimes it can feel like your losing a part of your soul, but walking this journey with others means a community coming together. So please come walk along side us as we shine hope into the lives of others.