In the morning before I start blogging I take time to pray, read in the word of God and then my book about grief. I can honestly say that over the time of doing this it has been a great healing process, but most of the time the words don't really line up between the bible and the book. This morning however was a completely different story. Yesterday I read in Matthew 23 and something told me that I needed to re-read this chapter and really meditate on it. So this morning I went back through the chapter. I came to a part where Yeshua is speaking one of the seven woes to the Torah scholars and Pharisees. Saying how, "You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and uncontrolled desire. O blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, so that the outside may become clean as well."(TLV Matthew 23:25-26) Now I know that with the greed and uncontrolled desire this might not have to do with going through grief, but you could easily change those words to pain and love that you don't know how to express. This is where everything else gets tied together. For us to truly start accepting grief and facing grief we must work on the inside. You can do whatever you want to put on a face so that others think you're okay, but what are you truly accomplishing? Are you being true to yourself or just lying to yourself as much as others?
I have such a passion on my heart to help. To help men, women, brothers, sisters, children, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, and anyone else in-between. It's time that we clean the junk out of the inside and start being honest with ourselves as much as each other. In my book today I read about a guy named Larry and how he lost his 10 year old son to leukemia. At first he was cleaning out the inside, side by side, with his wife and younger son. "Then one day his parents came over and encouraged him to "stop grieving" for "the sake of his family." They suggested that Matthew's photographs would be better put away in the family trunk. Their family admonished Larry and his wife for being too consumed with their grief. Larry's work, too, pushed hime forward before he was ready: they discouraged him from talking about Matthew at work because it might upset his colleagues. From all sides, Larry was getting a message to disavow grief and thus, in a sense, to forget the love he continued to feel for Matthew."(Bearing the Unbearable pg.126)
This is what I feel happens so much in life. That in our society we have become so consumed with our own fears that we can't show empathy for those that are actually walking in those fears. It's time to change this concept, it's time to be civil, it's time to care and love one another. It's time to actually humble ourselves and bend a knee to help pick those who are going through brokenness up. It's time we change what we were taught. It's time to accept what grief truly is. It is a chance to still love when we can't, allow healing, let out other emotions that need to come out and reflect back on memories of our loved ones. Sometimes these memories are only ones of the womb, but they are still memories and they are still our children.
I challenge not only myself, but those who read this now and in the future to grieve and not to let others tell you to stop. To continue to love those you love. To clean the inside of your cup and dish so that the outside becomes clean as well. Cry, laugh, love, remember and understand that people will say the most ridiculous things sometimes, but that's just because they don't know how to walk with your pain.